Can't Forget You
by Risknight
Summary: Had to take it down and make some changes. Still the same story, only minus the lyrics, now. Sorry for any confusion.
1. Chapter 1

_1. I do not own The Big Bang Theory._

_2. This is for Ayame2004, who asked for the songfic._

_3. I went a bit nuts with it, which is why there are three versions. Since she liked them all, I decided to post them all._

_4. The song is Can't Forget You by My Darkest Days. _

_5. I don't own them either. But I'm willing to let Doug Oliver borrow me for the night. ;)_

* * *

**I have been told that I must remove the lyrics from the story because they violate one of the rules.**

* * *

One foot curled up underneath her on the rocking chair as she looked out over the lawn. There was a light layer of frost on the ground. The morning air held a bit of a chill. She watched the mail truck rumble up the lane. When it was still four houses away she stepped inside and poured some coffee into a thermos and slowly made her way down the steps to the mailbox. The truck lumbered to a stop beside her and the door slid open.

"Hey there, Miss Penny," a gruff voice called out. "Heard Doc was out here last night. Mary Lou okay?"

Penny handed the little old man the thermos and nodded as he handed her a clean, empty thermos in return. "Yeah. She had a spell last night and her pills weren't doing any good. He came out and gave her a shot. She's still sleeping."

He took a sip of the coffee eagerly. "You're a good girl to worry about your godmother like this. I'm sure she would appreciate it if she could."

Penny shrugged. "I love her. As long as she needs me, I'll be here."

He reached into his tray and picked up a bundle of mail and a couple of magazines. He eyed her closely. "Looks like another letter forwarded from California. Those friends of yours must miss you too."

Penny took the mail hesitantly and cringed when she saw Amy's return address. She took a deep breath and smiled sadly. "Thanks Mr. Harris. See you tomorrow."

She didn't read it until that night, before going to bed. She sat against the headboard and stared at the envelope for a long time before carefully opening it. She knew what it would say. There was nothing she could do about what Amy had to say. Her mom had written a little note on the back.

"_Maybe you should call them."_

She sighed and unfolded the letter.

"_Penny,_

_I don't know why I am bothering to write you. You have made it perfectly clear that you don't care about any of us by the way you left without a goodbye and how you won't answer any of our letters. Sheldon has won his Nobel for proving M theory. Rajesh thought you should know. He still thinks you might care._

_Amy Farrah Fowler"_

Penny folded the letter and added it to the stack in the bedside table drawer. She let the tears slide down into the collar of her t-shirt. So, he had finally done it. He had won his coveted prize. Now he had it all. She moved down and pulled the blanket over her. Her mind drifted back to those last few weeks in Pasadena.

It was Leonard trying to move in that made her face reality. She didn't love him. Not the way he wanted her to. It was impossible. She was already in love. With the tall, crazy theoretical physicist across the hall. Seeing Amy try to work her way into his apartment had broken down the walls she had built up around her love for the last 6 years. The one man she wanted more than life itself was the one man she could never have. She spent two weeks trying to figure out what to do. She had come home from work to find Sheldon and Amy locked in an ardent embrace in the hall. They hadn't even noticed her as she hurried into her apartment and shut the door. Then her dad had called. Ms. Mary, her godmother, had Alzheimer's. Her family was going to put her into a home. He was calling to let her know Ms. Mary's new address. Penny spent the day crying. She loved her godmother. She had always encouraged Penny's dreams. She held Penny the first time her heart got broke. She had been the only one to support her move to California.

By morning, Penny was packed and had made arrangements to have the rest of her stuff collected by a moving company and shipped to Omaha. She drove to Cal-Tech, broke up with Leonard, and left the state. By nightfall she was in Kearney, settling into the spare bedroom. Her godmother's family was grateful, they hadn't wanted to send her to a nursing home, but none of them were in much of a position to take care of her.

The last 15 months hadn't been easy. Ms. Mary rarely remembered her. She needed a lot of care and supervision. And she suffered from nightmares most nights. On occasion she could get violent if she got too emotional or scared. Penny had asked her parents not to tell anyone where she was. It was hard, but necessary. She couldn't live her life hanging onto the past. But she still got a letter on occasion. Mostly from Raj. A couple came from Bernadette. One had been from Leonard, telling her he still loved her and was waiting on her to come to her senses. Her parents forwarded each one, not realizing how much it pained her.

Slowly she drifted off to sleep, dreaming of bright blue eyes and a breathy laugh calling out Bazinga.

* * *

He watched his friends mingle and laugh. His mom was over by the buffet flirting with Professor Gabelhauser. He caught the bartender's eye and raised his finger for another. A new glass of scotch was set in front of him and he downed half of it.

"Sheldon, don't you think you've had enough?"

He looked down into Amy's worried brown eyes and smirked. ""No, I don't."

She looked at him with a great deal of concern. "You know this won't help. It never does."

He shrugged and picked up his drink. "I'm celebrating, Amy. In case you haven't heard, I just won a Nobel. It's a night to eat, drink and be merry. So, I had a breadstick, now I'm having my..," he paused and counted off on his fingers, "fifth scotch, and then, well, who knows. Lots of women here. Maybe it's time I found out how Homo Sapiens mate."

Amy glared at him and grabbed his drink. She slammed it down on the bar and poked his chest with her finger. "Stop it, Sheldon! Why are you doing this? She doesn't care! You have to let it go. Don't let Penny ruin your big night!"

He slapped her hand away. "Don't tell me how to act. We aren't together anymore. You have no idea what I feel."

"I know you are wasting your emotions on a woman who never even bothered to say goodbye. Who can't be bothered to find the time to call. Who cut you and all of us out of her life without a second thought."

Sheldon stormed away, ignoring the stares he got from the guests in the room.

Howard slipped into the elevator just before the doors closed and rode up to the 7th floor with Sheldon in silence. He walked alongside his friend as they went down the hall. Sheldon started to turn toward his door, but Howard grabbed his elbow and drew his on. "There's something I need to show you in my room."

Sheldon glared and jerked his arm from Howard's grip. ""I don't feel like company."

Howard shrugged. "Okay. I'll just toss the Penny letter, then."

Sheldon froze in mid-turn. After a second or two, he leaned against the wall. "Penny?" he whispered.

Howard nodded and led the way to the room he and Bernadette had. They walked in and he went over to his suitcase. He removed an envelope from a side pocket and turned. Sheldon reached for the letter, but Howard pulled it back out of reach.

"There are a few things I had better explain," he said. "This came in the mail 2 weeks ago. Bernie doesn't know I have it. No one does. I almost tossed it when it arrived because I didn't know the sender, and our last name was misspelled. Then I noticed the address. It's from a Mr. Claude Harris in Kearney, Nebraska. He wrote to Bernie, because he had her address. He's a mailman and he knows Penny."

Sheldon snatched the letter and hurriedly opened it. He didn't care what else Howard had to say. He only cared what this Mr. Harris said.

_Dear Ms. Wollowits,_

_My name is Claude Harris. I am a letter carrier here in Kearney. I am writing to you for Ms. Penny Queen. She don't actually know I'm writing to you, though. Ms. Penny is a real good girl, and folks around here like her a whole bunch. It pains us to see her so sad and sluggish. She's got a mess of pain in her and we want to help her, but we don't know how. All we really do know is that it has something to do with you all, and with California. The only real clue any of us have is how sad she gets when her parents forward one of your letters, and the heartbreak in her eyes at the library the day she used their computer. Myra, the librarian, checked the history on the computer and said all Penny's searches were for scientist named Sheldon Cooper. _

_None of us here know the name, and it's not one we ever saw on any letters, but it means a great deal to her. My wife, Gracie, thinks maybe it's someone she loved, and lost. When she first came here to look after her godmother, she was kind of broken. It took a long time for her to smile. And now that poor Mary Lou (god rest her soul) has passed on, many of us thought she would head back Pasadena. Mary Lou's brother is letting her rent the old house, though, and she just took a job at the pharmacy as a clerk. _

_Ma'am, we're a pretty tight-knit community, and we believe in taking care of each other. Penny is like a daughter to me and my missus. Can you help us to help her?_

_Sincerely,_

_Claude Harris"_

Sheldon sat on the edge of the bed and stared at the wall.

"Sheldon, I think she loves you." Howard sat down beside him and sighed. "I've been doing a lot of thinking since I read that. I think that's why she left like she did. Why she never said goodbye. I think she couldn't. I suspect she realized she loved you, not Leonard and it broke her heart. Remember what you told me? The last time you saw Penny was as she was going into her apartment. You and Amy were kissing in the hall because Amy had demanded a real kiss for her birthday. I suspect that she took the first opportunity that presented itself, her sick godmother. She ran because she couldn't see you with Amy."

Sheldon looked over at Howard. "I need to get a flight to Nebraska."

Howard stood up. "Go pack. I'll call the airport."

Sheldon smiled slightly and nodded gratefully. "Thank you, Howard."

Howard smiled back at him. "Just bring her back, Sheldon."

* * *

Penny headed out to the mailbox with the thermos and waited for Mr. Harris. He pulled up and the door slid open. He smiled warmly at her and handed her the empty thermos. "Penny, there's a package for you in the back."

She frowned and walked toward the rear. She wasn't expecting anything, but maybe mom or dad had sent her something. Mr. Harris walked around and opened the back door. Penny's jaw dropped. She blinked several times but the image stayed the same. Sheldon stepped down out of the back and looked down at her. His eyes roamed over her face desperately.

Penny's voice was hesitant, scared. "What are you doing here?"

Sheldon reached out and cupped her cheek. "When you packed all your things and left, you forgot me."

Slowly she shook her head, and Sheldon's heart plummeted. "No, Sheldon. I may not have an eidetic memory, but I never forgot you."

His lips curved up into a smile and he drew her close. The mail truck was far down the lane before they broke their kiss and headed inside.


	2. Chapter 2

One foot curled up underneath her on the rocking chair as she looked out over the lawn. There was a light layer of frost on the ground. The morning air held a bit of a chill. She watched the mail truck rumble up the lane. When it was still four houses away she stepped inside and poured some coffee into a thermos and slowly made her way down the steps to the mailbox. The truck lumbered to a stop beside her and the door slid open.

"Hey there, Miss Penny," a gruff voice called out. "Heard Doc was out here last night. Mary Lou okay?"

Penny handed the little old man the thermos and nodded as he handed her a clean, empty thermos in return. "Yeah. She had a spell last night and her pills weren't doing any good. He came out and gave her a shot. She's still sleeping."

He took a sip of the coffee eagerly. "You're a good girl to worry about your godmother like this. I'm sure she would appreciate it if she could."

Penny shrugged. "I love her. As long as she needs me, I'll be here."

He reached into his tray and picked up a bundle of mail and a couple of magazines. He eyed her closely. "Looks like another letter forwarded from California. Those friends of yours must miss you too."

Penny took the mail hesitantly and cringed when she saw Amy's return address. She took a deep breath and smiled sadly. "Thanks Mr. Harris. See you tomorrow."

She didn't read it until that night, before going to bed. She sat against the headboard and stared at the envelope for a long time before carefully opening it. She knew what it would say. There was nothing she could do about what Amy had to say. Her mom had written a little note on the back.

"_Maybe you should call them."_

She sighed and unfolded the letter. "_Penny,_

_I don't know why I am bothering to write you. You have made it perfectly clear that you don't care about any of us by the way you left without a goodbye and how you won't answer any of our letters. Sheldon has won his Nobel for proving M theory. Rajesh thought you should know. He still thinks you might care._

_Amy Farrah Fowler"_

Penny folded the letter and added it to the stack in the bedside table drawer. She let the tears slide down into the collar of her t-shirt. So, he had finally done it. He had won his coveted prize. Now he had it all. She moved down and pulled the blanket over her. Her mind drifted back to those last few weeks in Pasadena.

It was Leonard trying to move in that made her face reality. She didn't love him. Not the way he wanted her to. It was impossible. She was already in love. With the tall, crazy theoretical physicist across the hall. Seeing Amy try to work her way into his apartment had broken down the walls she had built up around her love for the last 6 years. The one man she wanted more than life itself was the one man she could never have. She spent two weeks trying to figure out what to do. She had come home from work to find Sheldon and Amy locked in an ardent embrace in the hall. They hadn't even noticed her as she hurried into her apartment and shut the door. Then her dad had called. Ms. Mary, her godmother, had Alzheimer's. Her family was going to put her into a home. He was calling to let her know Ms. Mary's new address. Penny spent the day crying. She loved her godmother. She had always encouraged Penny's dreams. She held Penny the first time her heart got broke. She had been the only one to support her move to California.

By morning, Penny was packed and had made arrangements to have the rest of her stuff collected by a moving company and shipped to Omaha. She drove to Cal-Tech, broke up with Leonard, and left the state. By nightfall she was in Kearney, settling into the spare bedroom. Her godmother's family was grateful, thy hadn't wanted to send her to a nursing home, but none of them were in a position to take care of her.

The last 15 months hadn't been easy. Ms. Mary rarely remembered her. She needed a lot of care and supervision. And she suffered from nightmares most nights. On occasion she could get violent if she got too emotional or scared. Penny had asked her parents not to tell anyone where she was. It was hard, but necessary. She couldn't live her life hanging onto the past. But she still got a letter on occasion. Mostly from Raj. A couple came from Bernadette. One had been from Leonard, telling her he still loved her and was waiting on her to come to her senses. Her parents forwarded each one, not realizing how much it pained her. They knew how unhappy she was, so they forwarded her the letters hoping she wouldn't forget her friends. As if she could. She may not have Sheldon's eidetic memory, but in her heart and mind, she would never forget him.

Slowly she drifted off to sleep, dreaming of bright blue eyes and a breathy laugh calling out Bazinga.

* * *

He watched his friends mingle and laugh. His mom was over by the buffet flirting with Professor Gabelhauser. He caught the bartender's eye and raised his finger for another. A new glass of scotch was set in front of him and he downed half of it.

"Sheldon, don't you think you've had enough?"

He looked down into Amy's worried brown eyes and smirked. ""No, I don't."

She looked at him with a great deal of concern. "You know this won't help. It never does."

He shrugged and picked up his drink. "I'm celebrating, Amy. In case you haven't heard, I just won a Nobel. It's a night to eat, drink and be merry. So, I had a breadstick, now I'm having my..," he paused and counted off on his fingers, "fifth scotch. A few more of these and I'll be quite merry."

Amy glared at him and grabbed his drink. She slammed it down on the bar and poked his chest with her finger. "Stop it, Sheldon! Why are you doing this? She doesn't care! You have to let it go. Don't let Penny ruin your big night!"

He slapped her hand away. "Don't tell me how to act. We aren't together anymore. You have no idea what I feel."

"I know you are wasting your emotions on a woman who never even bothered to say goodbye. Who can't be bothered to find the time to call. Who cut you and all of us out of her life without a second thought."

Sheldon reached behind the bar, grabbed a bottle, and stormed away. He ignored the stares he got from the guests in the room. He took the elevator up to the 7th floor and went to his room. He stripped off the jacket and tie and undid the top two buttons. He grabbed the little plastic cup on the bedside table and opened the rum. He poured himself a drink and stepped onto the balcony.

3 months ago he had been notified he had finally won his Nobel. He had prayed to his mother's god that she would at least call to congratulate him. He laughed harshly up at the stars. Tonight everyone was celebrating his genius. How ironic. He was smart enough to understand the universe, but too stupid to understand that it had always been her. She was the one he wanted. Needed. Loved. And he hadn't figured it out until it was too late. And now, she was gone. All he had left was her memory.

He worked his way through half the bottle, finally passing out on the bed, dreaming of emerald green eyes and rounds of Soft Kitty.


	3. Chapter 3

He nodded a hello to the people he passed in the hallway. He knew most of their faces, just as they knew his. He turned a corner and moved to the third door on the left. It was standing open, but he closed it behind him. He walked over and set the messenger bag on the desk. He turned to the closet and opened it up. He pulled out clean jeans and a light blue shirt. He moved to the dresser and grabbed underwear. He shut the blinds and moved to the bed. Blank eyes stared at the wall, not even glancing his way.

"Good morning, Penny."

* * *

He brushed her hair and braided it before securing the end with a blue and green Penny-Blossom. He transferred her to the wheelchair and walked over to open the door. He picked up his bag and a small blanket. He maneuvered her out of the room and down the hall. One of the aides saw them coming and held open the door.

"Good morning, Dr. Cooper. Hello, Penny. You look very nice," she said gently.

Sheldon nodded his thanks and took Penny out into the garden. He settled them under the willow tree and he sat down on the bench. He placed the blanket over her lap and began telling her about the new theory he was working on. Once he finished that, he pulled a worn copy of Chocolat out and began reading aloud.

At noon he returned Penny to her room and got her settled in the recliner by the window. He bent and kissed her forehead gently. "I have to go to work now, Penny. I'll be back this evening. I love you." He chastised himself for searching her eyes for some spark, some hint that she heard him. He slowly walked from the room and left the long term care facility. Raj was waiting in the parking lot. He slid into the car and buckled up. Neither man said a word.

* * *

Sheldon set his alarm for the morning, and slid into bed. He looked at the picture on the bedside table. He was wearing Mickey Mouse ears and Penny was hugging him tight. It had been two years since a drunk driver had slammed into her car on her way home from work. She had almost died twice. Leonard and the others thought it would have been better if she had. Her family said she would hate to be in this state. Unable to speak, to recognize anyone. The doctors called it a persistent vegetative state. They said it was highly unlikely she would ever recover. It took him 14 months of court battles and most of his savings to have himself declared her guardian. Only Raj had taken his side. Even going so far as to call on his sister and cousin to assist in the legal proceedings.

Sheldon wasn't naïve. He knew the odds. He knew exactly how low her chances of recovery were. But as long as there _was_ a chance, he wasn't going to give up. He would never abandon her. He could never forgot about her.


End file.
